Of late, I’ve started to see a lot of prayers, affirmations, workings, ceremonies, and such that petition for the “highest and best good” in a particular situation. I grasp that this phrasing is meant to account for our own limited knowledge and understanding. That said, it’s also presumptive, dangerous, lazy, and frankly- a bit rude.
For what are you asking?
Let’s start off with the basics- something that the author of the link above seems to be blissfully unaware of. The entities with whom you are interacting have their own personalities, agendas, and methods- the exact opposite of:
They wish to be supportive of the individual’s life plan. This is their only agenda. They wish to do so without interfering—to be supportive of the person’s highest and best good. A spirit guide does not impose their agenda on another. Their only aim is to be supportive.
That’s not to say that Holy Powers and other spiritual beings are bad, just that it’s selfish and naive to think of them as being solely concerned with our wellbeing. Such a belief is solipsistic at best and has no place in an enlightened spirituality. Deities are well-known to sacrifice individuals for their own purposes, though those who serve them well before and during that process are generally rewarded. This is a fairly consistent thread across cultures and religions.
So, if Holy Powers are fully-realized, independent individuals with their own personalities and motivations, what does that imply about asking for your highest and best good?
It means you are asking for the highest and best good to which that Power can put you. In a way, that sounds very deeply pious and devotional. On the other hand, it can REALLY suck. If you’ve ever met someone who’s experienced Shaman Sickness, they can give you some idea of what it means to be put to highest and best use. For other examples, we need only turn to history- prophets and other “change agents” of the Gods are often martyred for their faith. It’s a very brave thing to knowingly offer your life in service to a deity. It’s quite another to do so flippantly and without such an intent.
Who are you asking?
This sort of request gets even more inauspicious when one is addressing “Spirit”, “God”, “Deity”, or the “Universe”. Our Universe, while it likely possesses a consciousness (very much unlike our own), is probably not the Power picking up the “phone” when you call. If you’re just throwing your request out to a Monist or Monotheistic generalization, you don’t have a lot of control over who answers your call.
Would you fling a $100 bill into a crowd while yelling “somebody use this money for my highest and best good”? Yeah, probably not.
In appealing to Holy Powers, it’s important to ask the right entity. Why? Because someone who prays to a New Age notion of glowing “white light” perfection is quite capable of having their prayers handled by Yah, Amaterasu, Apollo, a dead relative, some random angel, the lamppost in the front yard… you get the idea. Such a person might also get Lucifer or some other less-than-friendly entity with a glowing light theme. It doesn’t matter whether or not you believe in personal evil- They believe in you.
If we just throw stuff around willy-nilly, we get whoever answers. Specificity helps, even if it’s just “My honored dead and our beloved Gods and spirits”. That at least narrows it down to your ancestors and Powers that you (and they) have knowingly served- though if Uncle Joe was secretly in some other religion, you could still be in for a surprise.
So, what are you asking for, again?
Another problem with the “highest and best good” phrasing is that it assumes divine omniscience- the ability to know everything about everything. The second we remove the mask of monotheism and look at actual religious traditions, the more we find that even the Gods are typically not omniscient. Whether this is a self-imposed limitation or not can be argued, but even a seemingly monotheistic book like the Bible offers examples of a deity “finding out” something rather than instantly knowing (or pre-knowing):
God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways.
– Genesis 6:12
Then the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.”
– Genesis 18:20-21
There are many other examples if you look for them. But this is not surprising as Judaism was originally a henotheistic religion- one that acknowledged other deities but served only one. Monotheism was a later, human invention.
I find the second passage above to be highly illustrative of my point. Note that Yah says “the outcry that has reached me”. This indicates that He was made aware of the situation in Sodom not through omniscience but through the petitions and prayers of the faithful. Yah even travels in human form to visit Sodom and check things out for Himself. That’s not to say that He or any other deity is incapable of getting a good view of things remotely. It does, however, suggest the importance of clear communication if one desires assistance from spiritual sources.
Coupled with the earlier statement about WHOM we might be petitioning for help, the need for a clear request becomes even more important. Even in the case of praying specifically to a major Holy Power, that doesn’t mean that He or She has to intervene personally. Deities often work in groups- if someone requests Odin’s help with romance, He might ask Freyja to handle it. Assuming that She does get involved, She in turn might have one of Her retinue take responsibility for that person’s case. She could also decide to pass it back to the petitioner’s ancestors, depending on the nature of the issue.
Therefore, the petitioner in this case (or in any case) would be wise to be very clear and precise in their requests. Praying for one’s “highest and best good” doesn’t have anything (overtly) to do with romance at all. Even praying for one’s “highest and best good in love” is really, really open to interpretation. Perhaps the entity handling your case thinks you should breed like rabbits to swell the ranks of the faithful. Maybe said entity thinks love is a fool’s game and will try to steer you away from it. Be clear and precise in your requests.
While this might not convince a Holy Power that disagrees with your request to help you, it also makes it less likely that such a Power will use the energy that YOU are putting into the request in a way that you would dislike. It may also increase the chances that an agreeable deity, spirit, or ancestor will be the one to respond.
Of course, prayer is not a WYSIWYG tool. You can’t push a “marriage” button and be instantly transported to the end of a Disney movie. The threads of causality are complex and we are imperfect beings. Even in the case of a powerful deity’s direct intervention, we humans have an uncanny capacity for gumming up the works. If we are clear in our communication, it means that we have at least some conscious idea of the goal- maybe we will be less likely to screw up.
Is it arrogant to ask?
One of the main reasons that people fall into “highest and best good” is the belief that we humans, limited as we are, simply do not know as much about a situation as the Gods. While this is often true, once we remember that omniscience is a falsehood created by humans, it is right and proper for us to communicate more fully. Just because an entity can know about something doesn’t mean that said entity grasps our perspective of the situation. Isn’t good communications about a two-way sharing of perspective? We might not hear Their responses, but it’s rude to assume They can’t (or don’t want to) hear ours.
That’s not to say we can’t acknowledge our limited perspective. Let’s imagine the case of praying for a friend who has fallen ill. It’s perfectly appropriate to pray:
Please heal my friend Amos who has brain cancer. Please help him to recover fully and swiftly. I know that I might not fully understand the situation and if healing is not an option, please help my friend and his loved ones to get through this with as little pain as possible.
Similarly with prayers about love or romance:
Please bring me a spouse that will be loving and supportive. Please help us both be good partners throughout our lives. I realize that maybe that’s not what I need at the moment, but I’m very lonely. If I can’t have such a person in my life right now, please help me to overcome my loneliness in healthy ways.
The same principle applies across the spectrum of human experience and topics of petition. We can and should ask for what we want (perhaps with an explanation). We can and also should admit to our limitations and our motivations- especially in the case of entities with whom we have (or are building) relationships. With very few exceptions, honesty is a sound policy in any relationship.